It seems like there are always times in life where you have to make decisions, the kind that affect people around you. Justin and I have been working on a decision for the past couple of weeks. We have finally come to a conclusion.
Since Christmas, Jaicie has been having more and more difficulty at school. She argues with her teachers, who argue back to her. Her teachers are constantly telling me that she was misbehaving and having problems and not taking her naps. Now I know that Jaicie argues. She tries it at home with us all of the time. But as her parents we have taught her that when we say no or stop it means to stop. Jaicie's teachers we are finding out don't say stop, they just keep arguing with her. This causes it to escalate and Jaicie gets more defensive and as a result more defiant. It started out not being too bad. Mostly her problems came at naptime--she is almost 5 years old, how many 5 year olds actually take naps? She would try to play during nap time instead of laying quietly on her mat til nap time is over. Recently though, it has escalated to the point that I get a phone call and asked to go and pick her up from school because she is being so disruptive. I pick her up crying just about everyday. It has caused her to be more difficult int he morning getting ready for school. She used to be so excited about school and so good and rush to get ready. Now she mopes and takes her time getting ready. 15 minutes just to change her clothes in the morning.
It has gotten rather difficult for me to take. I hate picking her up crying. I hate how upset I get with her when I am told that she was misbehaving. I know that she is part of the problem. But it is also obvious to me that she is not entirely the problem. A teacher, especially a teacher of 3 and 4 year olds should know how to stop the arguing. she should know not to argue with a 4 year old. I am not saying Jaicie isn't in the wrong, I know she is, but why would you keep going back and forth with her when there is no reason too.
So Justin and I have decided to pull her out of preschool/head start. It isn't worth the strain it is putting between us. It isn't worth the tears and the struggles. I don't want her to hate school because of a bad experience in head start. I am going to work with her and make sure she is more than ready to start Kindergarten in August. I will have to adjust to having 2 kids at home again, but I will have 3 by the summer, so I might as well get used to it eh?! I think it will break Jaicie's heart not to go to school (which is probably mostly because of the swimming lessons). Which makes me really sad, but I think after a couple of days, she will feel better about it. It is only head start, and she is already ahead of her class by a mile.
So any opinions? Are we doing the wrong thing do you think? Mostly I am just curious to get other peoples opinions on this!
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6 comments:
I would be pretty upset at the teachers too! They should know that arguing with a 4 year old is unproductive, not to mention unprofessional... As to you guys pulling Jaicie out, that's up to you and how you feel about the situation. She'll probably be alright until school starts and then you can talk to her new teachers about your concerns if you still have any. Good luck!
Seriously? arguing back? Yes, children argue, but as adults we should know when to stop. There are many, many ways to do this without being harsh or anything. I think it's a good decision. It's important that Jaicie's experiences with school be good ones. The first few years set the tone for the rest of her schooling, so it should be something that uplifts and encourages.
By the way, LOVE Starfall, Little Dude is really liking it. Thanks.
I think that you need to do whatever you feel is best...and don't feel bad about it! I agree with Pokeyann...Jaicie's school experiences should be good ones and you don't want her to dread starting kindergarten.
First off, her teacher is entirely in the wrong. All she is accomplishing is teaching Jaicie that it is okay to argue back. She is setting a dangerously low precedent for all the children in the class. And I think it should be addressed.
Jaicie on the other hand, is simply being a normal five-year-old. She has realized that her boundaries are set by those around her and she is pushing them; trying to she where the limits really lie. What she is doing is completely normal. You are making efforts, as you said, to temper it at home, but her teacher is undermining everything you are doing by arguing back. She needs to temper it as well. And she should know this. If she doesn't understand this, then she has no business being in charge of a group of five-year-olds.
I would pull her out, and I would even think twice about it. It should be stressed, I think, that she is not being punished, but it is important that she not argue with her teachers. At least until High School.
You're doing the right thing. I think it might be a good idea, for her sake, to find a suitable replacement in her daily activities for the swimming lessons she is clearly going to miss.
Maybe you can take her shoplifting.
Just kidding.
Maybe.
Besides, as Carlee was alluding to, a child's experience in school, particularly elementary level, has such a profound impact on their development, that you certainly don't want her to start being reclusive about it before she even starts kindergarten.
That will only retard her, socially.
And then she'll end up like me.
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